You’ve been so accustomed to your lips
only touching your mug each morning that
the thought of them touching another person’s
skin unsettles you. You will walk out the door
with a scarf around your neck and “nobody” in
your mind except the anxiety that haunts your
every step. Passing others on the street, but
never to look up and make eye contact because
god forbid if you see another pair of eyes admiring
yours. You’ll sit alone in class with your head in a
book or your mind lost in music, you’ll look around
to see everybody’s got somebody, except for you.
I mean, who cares anyway, right? People are just
people, they aren’t permanent. They always leave.
At least that’s what you’ve told yourself more than
a thousand times in the stillness of the night when
the only thing your tongue is craving is to taste the
feeling of company. So when you get home you’ll
kick off your shoes and fall on your bed, you won’t
let that one person back into your head. Being
alone is okay, being alone is good, being alone
helps you think. Yet thinking is what is killing you,
suffocating you. You check your phone every ten
minutes even when you know no one has called,
no one has texted. You’ll convince yourself it’s
only a habit, when this habit only formed because
deep down you’re hoping, hoping for someone,
anyone to take away the loneliness.
Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.
Death’s got an Invisibility Cloak?” Harry interrupted again.
“So he can sneak up on people,” said Ron. “Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking…
don’t get it twisted like i respect bugs for being the best they can be in spite of their specific assigned flesh prisons and their ecological significance but they need to stay the fuck away from me